January 12, 2013

Getting Engaged in Kuwait


 
Disclaimer: I keep all my valuables that I have in Kuwait at his house for security reasons. I had a maid try to steal once so I am very careful and leave everything at his house which has 24/7 security. Expat ladies, I highly recommend that you do not fully trust your maid.  I have too many friends that had all of their jewelry stolen from help that they trusted in Kuwait and the USA.  Lock your stuff up in a safe or at the bank.  It's better to be safe than sorry. 

I Instagramed and Tweeted about my engagement news a while back but I never wrote a post about it.  So here goes my one and only...

 When I moved to Kuwait from America a few years ago the last thing I planned to do was to fall in love and get married to anyone, much less a local.  Why not a local? Well, first of all I wanted to continue to travel the world but return to live in the Southern, USA so marriage here was the furthest thing from my mind.  Second of all I listened too much to what I heard about them from other Western women that were married, divorced or who dated them. I know not everyone is the same but with the frightening stories I heard at work made me want to stay away from them.  Not to mention some of their desperate attention seeking flirting that you are subjected to whenever you leave your apartment here.

Soon I managed to meet the most amazing group of girls that changed my life in Kuwait for the better.  We had a blast together (can't write about that part ;p) and I realized how wrong I was to think that all local men here are the same.  Eventually I was introduced to H and the rest is history.

I want to say that every Western woman I know that is engaged or married to a local guy that she met while in Kuwait was introduced by trusted friends. None of them met online or by being stalked for their number.  I've heard some freaky / creepy stuff about dating online in Kuwait so girls please be careful. I also want to mention that soon after meeting H I did the "pay it forward" move where I introduced one of my gf's to an amazing guy (which I posted about before) and now they are also getting married.  So don't forget about your friends when you have already met your Prince. :)


Now this brings me to the part I want to write about which is the engagement.  This is actually my second time to be engaged to H.  This is the one that counts and has lasted since when we broke up last time and spent a few miserable months apart. Normally in Kuwait you get married soon after the engagement but out of respect for my family and our schedules we will wait until this summer. That's about all I can really write about that in order to protect our privacy.

If you are a faithful blog reader then you know about our love story and the break up from previous posts.  Meeting and falling in love with H was so unexpected and the last thing on my mind. It is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me in Kuwait and probably in my life.  I didn't settle or agree to marry him just because it looked good on paper.  I am truly, deeply and madly in love with him. All the good things are there like trust, lust, respect, friendship, common interests, family values, etc. The positive list goes on and on.


Anyway, here are a few pictures of when he gave me three rings for my last birthday (2 regular rings and 1 engagement ring) at the Kuwait Hilton Beach Resort this past summer.  He always signs his name with something cute (i.g. The blonde lover, The spoiler, The Kuwaiti Redneck) on the cards and this time it was his nickname that you all know I call him: Hayati.  I had no idea he was going to propose to me again so soon after our previous breakup.  I had really hurt him and wouldn't have blamed him for never speaking to me again.  When I opened the stunner that was my new Cartier engagement ring I was shocked.  (Thank you Cartier Kuwait!) They were just supposed to be regular presents for my birthday.  He proposed again on one knee but said we'd do everything different this time.  He also said he would wait to receive my entire family's blessing without pressuring me.  I still had my doubts that we would last because of my family so I told very few people.  


 I haven't seen any Western bloggers married to locals posting pictures of their wedding or sharing that much about their engagement / wedding experience in Kuwait. It’s different here and you can never be too careful with your privacy when you have an open blog.  Then there is the evil eye, hater comments and all it takes is one jealous person to spread false rumors.  In Kuwait rumors sometimes reach the families and cause significant problems before the wedding.  I don't want any part of that so I've decided not to write too much about it.   

This will probably be my last post on the subject but I just wanted to share a little bit of my happiness with you the readers that have supported me throughout my years in Kuwait.  Thank you for all of your congratulations on Instagram. I am really excited! :) Not so much about a showy wedding in Kuwait and then the USA but about spending my life with the most amazing man I know.  If it ended badly tomorrow I would never regret a minute I spent loving and being loved by him.
 

35 comments:

  1. I have no doubt that you love this man immensely and that he loves you, BUT cross-cultural relationships are not easy, especially when you live in their culture and the laws are stacked against you. You say, not me, well others said the same thing, and there are many horror stories around Kuwait where foreign women entered relationships with local Kuwaitis. But take a good long look around you, can you really live here for the next ten years, twenty years? This is the only GCC country that has not moved foreward and there are a multitude of sociological issues facing this nation, with deep-rooted social problems. I know, I sound like your mom, but I haven't even bridged the religion topic yet. He sounds like a wonderful man, but already THEY are planning the wedding. You stated that in another posting, are you having bleechers with a woman-only traditional Kuwaiti wedding? I find Kuwaitis very controlling and I think that is because they feel they have lost control of their society - dysfunctional government. This is not your tradition, it is his, I suppose you can have two weddings, but would he walk down a church aisle for you in front of your parents in the States? Compromise is pivotol in cross-cultural marriages, especially in a culture where the laws are not in favor of women, foreign women. Most times the compromise is by the woman in a relationship. Another comment that you made in another posting was when you broke up with him before he threatened to have you deported. That stuck in my mind because, ok, we all say things in anger, but that is a real scenerio in Kuwait, they always hold this deportation card over our heads. I wish you well, but always remember at the end of day the most important people in your life, that love you the most, will be your family, so listen to what they say, and hopefully you will be blessed with a wonderful marriage in Kuwait. God Bless you.

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    1. Thank you for your good wishes. :) It is nice to know I have such loyal followers that really care. He never said he would have me deported. He said he'd put a travel ban on me to keep me from leaving. At that time I was thinking of taking a job somewhere else because the breakup was so heartbreaking. He was devastated that I might leave so he said that out of pain. Everything is so much better now. We did the right thing before last Ramadan and he met my parents. Plus he has agreed to walk down the aisle with me. He said he walk through fire if that is what it takes. Gosh I love him. <3

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  2. Awh! It is so nice to read this! You know I am a true EXPAT blog reader! I love that you respect your privacy so much! I didn't have much choice because my kids are PLASTERED all over the Blog! I would have been figured out sooner or later!
    I think that having a good group of friends is going to bring good people around! There are a lot of bad things that happen to women over here! I am scared to death to go too many places alone. I will have to write a post about that later! LOL. Congrats all the same! I think it is WONDERFUL! And Haters are always going to hate!

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    1. Thank you Ambazon Princess! <3 I adore your blog and how open you are with your readers. I am looking forward to your post because it's scary in some areas for sure. Luv ya!

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  3. Im happy for u E&TC

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  4. 3 bags? H IS LOADED! Hahaha

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    1. Looool! Is that funny? :p It was my birthday and there were more than three bags. Just three rings. :)

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  5. I congratulate you both for your love and togetherness, and wish you peaceful and wonderful times ahead in life may God bless both of you with warmth and care and always pour his love, warmth and care on both of you..... I believe the pure love and engagement shouldn't bounded with nationality or religion, there no relation between what you heard from your friends (good/bad) it depend on the person you select

    always stay in love Congratulations on your engagement

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    1. What a sweet comment Ali! Thank you for your kind words. :D

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  6. Gee! I wonder why you're receiving hate comments lately. Oh! I get it! It's the fact that a Kuwaiti guy chose you over a Kuwaiti girl to be Mrs. H. Lest we forget the high-end brands he showers you with. Some people just wish they can be in your place. Mystery solved! Hoopa! Wish you happiness & love

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    1. Thank you sweetie and I wish you the same. :* The funny thing is that the Kuwaiti ladies have been the most supportive and excited for me. Especially the Kuwaiti bloggers. It's some of the American ladies that have been surprisingly negative and hatin' a bit. I'm so happy it doesn't even phase me. :D Plus with Western bloggers / Twitter buddies like AG, Just Us, DG, LWDLK, Rachael, UKYankee, RinseRepeat, Stinni, Martha, UmK, etc's. support blogging has been mostly positive.

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  7. Silence of the MolestedJanuary 13, 2013

    Hey, we are maha thrilled for you: you've found the love of your life- what's nationality or religion gotta do with it?!
    Just a lil' curious does Hayati have a stake in the London based Al Hayat daily? Was thinking to get you guys annual subscription of Al Hayat as engagement gift.
    Will not spill the beans on the wedding gift idea I have for you, just as yet.

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    1. Thank you for the sweet offer but I am unable to accept any gifts.

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  8. Soooooo Happy for you!! Wishing you both a blessed life ahead!! aaahhh!!! I want to know moreeeee... hehe!!

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    1. Thank you lovey! <3 You never know I might just crack and rant one day. ;)

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  9. I'm so happy for you, mashallah. I know what you mean about people giving you the evil eye - it has happened to me more than once on my blog. I wish you all the best - and secretly hope that you'll invite me to your wedding and pass along some of your good luck. The BEST way to meet a special person is through friends.

    Mabrook habibti.

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    1. THANK YOU DG! <3 You are 100x more beautiful than me but your wicked smart IQ probably intimidates the Hell out of men. It's going to take someone really special to be even the least bit good enough for you.

      Most of the local guys I know as friends are "fun" but not good enough for you. Their summers spent in Thailand & London, nope, not good enough for DG. If we find a good guy you are the 1st person on our list. I hope AG is looking out as well. I'm sure she knows some really good local guys. My wish is for you to find your second Prince habibti.

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  10. Congratulations to both of you. I wish you both all the best. You're blog shows how you both love and respect each other, plus he came back so it's meant to be :D (although I doubt he ever left in the first place). H saw your beautiful heart and is smart not to let go. God bless you both.

    P.S.I hope to someday buy you a cup of coffee or tea, at the very least, you've been so kind and supportive upon my "demise" and had given me great insights. Truly grateful.

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    1. You know your emails really broke my heart because I felt so devastated for you. It's unbelievable how strong you are and how you have overcome this in record time. I am sure you still feel pain but you are a fighter and such an inspiration.

      Thank you for your congratulations and I'm glad to know you as my friend through this blog. <3 I'm also grateful for your support on Twitter, Instagram and the blog. *hugs*

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  11. In first paragraph of your blog (lines before the actual blog) you have given a very good safety tip for people in Kuwait. I really recommend your blog. Thanks!

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    1. Why thank you. :) I learned the hard way and I don't want anyone else to do the same. I do not keep anything of value in my house. Only what I wear daily. The rest is safely at the house of my fiancé or in America.

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  12. Darn! Guess it is too late to get you drunk and claim I am pregnant 6-8 weeks later. Oh well, the better man won out. Good luck and best wishes.

    BTW I am available for any last minute bucket list items need fulfillment.

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  13. Loooool! That comment cracked me up! :)

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  14. My new place has a great bathtub and I do have a case of JellO available....

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    1. OMG!!! You're not right. Hahahaha! Thank goodness H (imaginary fiancé ;) doesn't read this blog. BEHAVE!!! :p

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  15. mabrouk! what matters is a strong foundation, you can't build a future on sand - i guess your love for each other sounds like a rock, so fear nothing our dear expatandthecity!

    congrats again.

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    1. Thank you so much! Great advice. <3

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  16. Expat, happy that you have found love. But you have a good job, as does your faince, so have some class and don't tarnish your blog with "Girls Who Like To Travel" adds and other such filth. You are always preaching about "class" so show some and don't accept everything that can offer you some extra money. My opinion

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad I found love as well. :)He's the most wonderful man I've ever laid eyes on.

      I didn't know I always preach about being classy. I thought that was the blog KBS. I was hoping they would do a post on E&TC because we suck, it brings in loads of blog traffic and we have decided to embrace trashy instead of classy. Just to see how the other side lives. They seem to have more fun! ;)

      Blogger is free and owned by Google. There are Google ads but I don't know how to control the type of ads. I think it's based on what is popular in Kuwait. This blog isn't for money making purposes. I'm already receiving offers to capitalize on my engagement. I'm not going to do it because of privacy issues and as you said I don't need the money.

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  17. Expat, I am so happy for you. Like you, I came over here not even thinking I would meet someone. One night, I went to a party and met an adorable Kuwaiti who has since become my boyfriend. I wish you and H all the best for your future and much happiness together.

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    1. Thank you very much! I'm happy that you met someone here and I wish you the very best. :)

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  18. Finally having a little time to catch up on blogs this morning and just came across this post. Mabrook! So happy for you and I really hope it all works out for you.

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