Wait a minute...! Surely that doesn't go on in Kuwait, right? I mean you don't hear about it that much. When it does happen often its expats only and usually only the poorest of them. It hardly ever happens to Kuwaitis so let's just never ever discuss such an ugly word as rape.
Welcome to de Nile (denial) and we aren't even in Egypt. When this topic is brought up with some of my most educated Kuwaiti friends the discussion quickly turns ugly. Because that sort of stuff doesn't happen in Kuwait and it's an insult to even suggest it does. I mean, America is the land of rape and honey so why would an American girl discuss rape in her beloved host country? I have never been raped so what do I know about it?
Yes, rape happens in America just like the rest of the world and even Kuwait. Most Americans are taught from the time we are little children what rape is and how to protect ourselves and report it if it does happen. There are countless studies, assistance programs, resources and our law enforcement is well trained on what to do in these situations. The gist of it is that if you are raped in America you are more likely to report it with less shame or family dishonor. Rapists are prosecuted in a court of law that has very little wasta when compared to some Middle Eastern countries. Our system is far from perfect but compared to the rest of the world it's pretty darn good and getting better with improved knowledge, communication and legislation.
Two Kuwaiti citizens were arrested recently for raping a Kuwaiti woman inside a diwaniya in Ardiya.
According to a security source, the victim had lodged a complaint against her boyfriend and his friend and informed securitymen that she was with her boyfriend in Jabriya when he drove to Ardiya without any explanation and stopped in front of a building.
He then forced her to step out of the vehicle and enter a diwaniya, where he along with his friend who was at the diwaniya raped her.
The victim later pretended she wanted to use the bathroom from where she escaped and fled from the location. She immediately rushed to Abdullah Al-Mubarak police station where she lodged a complaint against them.
Using the information given by the victim, securitymen arrested the two suspects and referred them to the Public Prosecution.
During interrogations, the suspects revealed that when they realized she had escaped, they did not follow her because they did not attract the attention of the neighbors.
Even though men are raped at alarming rates here and around the world I will focus on women in this post.
. Sexual activity should not take place unless both parties have freely given consent, and consent is understood by both parties.
In a country where a women must be pure to marry what happens if she reports being raped? Will she be believed or shunned? Will she face death by an honor crime? Will she ever be able to marry? If she is already married will her husband divorce her? Most often then not it is never reported and the crime is covered up by the victim, her family, and she is even given a simple surgery abroad or illegally here to restore her pureness. The cover up will unfortunately never help the victim heal from her emotional and torturous pain.
Now, what brought me to this topic you might ask? Well, a reader recently left two comments on an old post [
yesterday about a Canadian lady in Kuwait that was recently raped. (I am just so heartbroken for her and pray she is okay. I hope they have caught the monster that did this and that he will rot in jail.)
A Canadian woman told Fahaheel police that an unknown person fondled her while in the elevator of the building she lives in, adding that she was decently dressed.
Kuwait City, Dec 7,2012: An unknown individual raped a Canadian woman recently in Fahaheel, reports Al-Rai daily.
Following the incident, the victim rushed to Fahaheel police station and lodged a complaint against the suspect.
She informed security men that she works as a teacher in a school and while she was on her way to her house, she noticed the suspect following her.
She changed her route to confuse the suspect and when she reached her house and parked her vehicle, she did not find him in the area.
However, when she entered the elevator, the suspect rushed in behind her and molested her. He pushed her to her apartment where he raped her. However, he became nervous when she started screaming and escaped.
A case was registered and investigations are ongoing to arrest the suspect using the information given by the victim.
_______________________________________
Wait a minute. Full stop! "Adding she was decently dressed." ??? Yep, welcome to Kuwait. If you are a Western expat woman there are a few things you should know. If you get raped here it is most likely viewed as being your fault. Where did that bit of information come from? Did I just make that up? No, it's from my friends that deal with these cases. That's all I can write or they will get P.O. at me. I've actually given advice to them since they didn't have a clue of what rape is...
In the West you can be with a man that is not your husband and get physical until the last second before doing it and then change your mind. If he then forces you to continue against your will then it is rape.
You can drink yourself to oblivion, dance at a party and flirt all night and then become unconscious and still any sexual penetration act against you without your consent is considered rape.
You can dress as slutty as you like and walk around half naked and if someone sexually assaults you then it is rape.
Now, back to living here in Kuwait. This is a Muslim country and there are strict rules. You cannot drink, be with men when you are not married, go to parties with alcohol (minus embassies), and although you can dress anyway you please nowadays as many do more and more, if you are not decently dressed then honey it's your fault. Many Western expat women go to parties and do many things that we are not supposed to do here and nothing ever happens. It's really normal and we sometimes think we are above the law just because we are Western. Just know that if you are attacked or raped then good luck with getting the guy or guys responsible into any trouble. You will most likely be in trouble and it won't be pretty.
Also, did you know that most people see rape as a sexual crime here and not one of violence? They think it only happens to younger more attractive girls so if you are an older woman then good luck with getting any sort of justice.
In the Western world we know that many senior citizens are subjected to the violent crime of rape because the perpetrator looks for an easy target. Someone who won't or can't fight back. A victim they can steal from and commit such a violent crime without any resistance. [
Read about the notorious Delroy Grant "Night Stalker" from the UK here]
My Father taught me self-defense and how to use weapons from an early age. I remember when I first went off to University he sat me down and told me to remember what I was taught and to always be aware of my surroundings day and night. One thing that has always stuck in my mind is what he said about how critical your first reaction is when you are first attacked. To never let the attacker take you from point A to point B. That your survival rate plummets if the attacker can relocate you to another place. My Father looked me in the eyes and said you must fight till death and scream "fire" until you have nothing left. Usually an attacker will flee at any attempt of a strong resistance.
My advice to Western ladies in Kuwait: Remember where you are and that this is not the West. (Where you are more familiar with local laws and customs.) Only take a taxi from a driver you know. Your life is worth an extra wait at the mall for the driver that will take you safely home. Always know where you are and carry a working cell phone. Do not wear your iPod where you are distracted and do not know what's around you. Dress appropriately for a Muslim country no matter how many other women you see not doing so. This is a country that every woman and man gets constant attention from the opposite sex whether they are a two to a ten. Just try to dress on the safe side because what you were wearing when attacked does matter here. Never meet guys over the Internet unless it's a public place and you have a friend with you while other people know where you both went. Never Tweet, Blog or Instragram your current location. Never go on a boat or to the desert with guys you do not know and trust. Remember that unfortunately expat girls are often looked at as "easy" and "open" to anything so we may get approached more. Lock your apartment and never get in the elevator with strangers. I've even had an American man grab me in an elevator so you just never know. When driving alone always lock your door and do not look at men following you. If you are being followed in your car and approaching your apartment or house do not go there. Drive to a public place and call a friend or the police or both.
I could go on and on with advice but most of us know what to do. We just seem to get complacent in Kuwait because we feel safer here than the rest of the world minus the near death experiences while driving. Just remember that most rapes here go unreported and if reported there is most likely not a conviction. There are even payments of "blood money" from the criminal's family to the victims.
My question is: What do you do if you are raped in Kuwait? Of course you go to the hospital and report it to the police but are there any recovery or support programs? Are the criminals even convicted in most cases? According to the English newspapers in Kuwait it seems like they always get away with it....WASTA!
Disclaimer: I am not an expert on rape. For more information about this crime you can search the Internet or contact a local rape support group.
Silence on Rape Is the Biggest Obstacle to Prevention
Update on December 24, 2012:
Kuwaiti Freed in Rape Charge
Arab Times, December 24, 2012, Kuwait City [
Link]: The Criminal Court acquitted a citizen of abducting a
9-year old boy with the intention of assaulting him sexually.
Earlier, the
First Instance Court sentenced the citizen to one year in prison for the same
allegation. According to the case file, the accused forced the boy to
accompany him after asking the boy the direction to a neighbor’s house. After
that, the accused took the boy to a dirty yard and tried to sexually assault
him, but he was able to run away.
Attorney of the defendant Attorney Bashar
Al-Nassar implored the court to acquit his client based on lack of
evidences.
*** This is very common here where the rapist is freed due to lack of evidence or some say Wasta. So apparently another child rapist has been let go. One of many I've read about in the English Kuwait newspapers.
Fake Cop arrested for abducting & attempted rape on Asian woman [
Link]
Update 9 MAR 2013 ~ I think the
Kuwait Times reads my blog posts...;p Here is a similar article from them...
Rape: Why it is much more than a four letter word
