July 5, 2012

Emirati Spinsters Give Cause For Concern

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Single female over 30 and Emirati? Hmmm

By Emane Mohammed - AFP [Link]
 
If you are a 30-year-old Emirati woman and still single, then you've have missed the marriage boat. By UAE standards, you are now considered to be an old maid.

The problem, authorities in the Gulf state say, is that more and more women fall into this category: some 60 percent, according to the latest statistics, raising concerns among officials and sparking online debates as to why.

"This is very worrying," FNC member Said al-Kitbi told AFP, adding that there are now more than 175,000 Emirati women who are over 30 and unmarried.

Though he conceded that being a "spinster" is "not a bad thing in itself", he argues that the demographic consequences of these women not having children is the real problem.

The United Arab Emirates is home to more than eight million people, only 950,000 of them UAE citizens. The rest are foreign, and young Emirati men are increasingly choosing to marry them instead.

The latest government statistics show that at least 20 percent of UAE men are marrying non-Emiratis.

The reasons behind this growing trend of spinsterhood are not entirely clear.

UAE planning ministry statistics show that in 1995, only 20 percent of women over 30 were unmarried. By 2008, that figure was 50 percent.

To read the rest of this interesting article click [here].
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Apparently some Emirati women are also marrying foreigners in relatively small numbers compared to the men.  I wonder if their expat husbands and children will receive citizenship and full rights?  In Kuwait this is not the case and their expat husbands and children do not receive benefits or citizenship.
 
To read, "More Emirati Women Marrying Foreigners" article click [here]

In Kuwait they have the same fear: "Approval Required for Mixed Marriages in Kuwait" [here].

27 comments:

  1. I hate that term "spinster". It carries such a negative connotation. There is no equivalent term to describe single men. They are gifted the term of, "bachelor," which gives the impression that they are free-wheeling, independant males who haven't chosen a partner ... but might. Whereas "spinster" has such a finality to it; like you don't have a choice or can't choose because you have no further option.

    I'm a confirmed bachelorette. I'm not a spinster. I have made a conscious decision NOT to get married. Could I? Hell to tha yes. Do I want to? Quite honestly, not until it is right for me - and it may never be. And who cares? Is there a law that I must give birth to something or be locked into an arrangement with one man?

    What these stories fail to articulate is that perhaps these women CHOOSE not to marry. Perhaps they are educated enough and financially independant enough to where they just don't want to be married.

    "...demographic consequences of these women not having children is the real problem." Really? For who? Men? There aren't enough babies in the world? Maybe they can mandate that Emirati women have their eggs frozen for future generations. Sounds rather barbaric, doesn't it?

    Perhapsee if they eradicated the sexism, more women might be in the mood to get married.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Let's call them Mama's boys, serial killers, rainbow lovers or 40 year old virgins. ;) JK!

      I agree that Spinster is a horrible word but that is the term the writers used. Thank goodness we live in the West where this is not the case anymore. Women are bachelorettes who want to complete their education, travel the world, have careers, date whomever they want before settling down (if ever)and having children. We are very lucky to be free to choose! Not to mention if we do marry a non-US citizen our children will be American citizens.

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  2. I don't understand the culture here enough to comment on why these particular men are marrying outside women - but I can speculate as to why men in general would... The like the way that the outside women make them feel. Simple huh? Any man will be attracted to a woman who makes him feel special, sexy and wanted. Men crave those things and whereas many women may be good mothers, partners or housewives they will always lose to the woman who can make a man feel like a man.

    Men are not complicated -- we make it very easy.

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    1. I agree that men and women are often attracted to other cultures. Opposites attract! :) I know I am! I disagree that it takes an outside / foreign woman to make them feel special, sexy and wanted. There are women like that in every culture if you meet the right one. The only difference is that in many cases poorer foreign women are desperate for a better life in the West and pretend to make the Western men feel all these things until they have the green card in hand or he dies (since he is usually much older). It's important to know the difference so you both don't get screwed! ;P

      I agree that most men are not complicated. Unfortunately many (not all) of the Western ones here seem to lose their common sense and intelligence the second they are told "me love you long time". No harm in them having fun while they are here but you would think they would at least use protection so they aren't having children at 50 - 65 years old!

      It's not just the men. I know several Western women who are being taken for a ride to Greencardville. It's heartbreaking to see their retirement and future go up in smoke.

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    2. I agree -- a lot of men lack common sense...

      BTW can we get back to the part where you love me long time? LOL

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    3. How about I love you and your blog forever? :) Both seem very nice.

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    4. Well, forever is a long time -- so I guess that would be just fine. :)

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    5. @Traveler - if you read the linked article, you will see the reason.

      Emirati women aren't failing to make men "feel good." The local practice of grooms paying a bridal price (called a dowry) to the family of a local woman means that marrying a local woman can be quite expensive. The government offers payments of 14,000 USD (I believe) for poor grooms, but that is still too low for many marriages given the social prestige and lifelong positioning that the bride price affords the bride and her family. Seeing how Emriatis are a small percentage of the population of the UAE, it is easier for some men to just meet and marry a woman from a different country with a different background who will not cost as much money to marry. Many Emirati marriages are arranged, or at least the introductions are, so it isn't as if the Emirati men are turning their backs on their true loves to marry a foreigner who makes them "feel good." They are making a decision based on money about where to start looking for a wife.

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    6. I think there is a similar problem in Kuwait. It's usually cheaper to marry a non-Kuwaiti. Especially Western women who may feel uncomfortable asking for a high dowry, new car, etc.

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    7. I disagree Expat, I think Kuwait is a different situation I think Kuwaiti men are marrying foreign women more, like anonymous states, because the foreign woman makes them 'feel good' and are abandoning social customs. In the UAE it is more financial and not to say that Kuwaitis are wealthier, because that is not true.

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    8. H studied abroad but always dated Kuwaiti girls. He never expected to meet, fall in love and marry an American once he returned to Kuwait. There is no way that all women from one country are alike. There are good and bad apples everywhere. There is also not just one reason why men marry outside their nationality.

      Look at all the American men dating and marrying Asians and Africans in Kuwait. It would be easy to say that this was because they don’t like American women. The truth is that there are about 8 American men to every 3 American women in Kuwait. Then out of that number of ladies we have the married, the ones that have a boyfriend or they have a girlfriend which leaves very little left.

      “Most not all” of the Asian or African women are willing to go with American men for a chance of a better life in the US and will marry any American no matter how old or what he looks like. The American men could never get young women to show interest in him in the West unless he was famous or loaded. (Ladies, none of the American guys here are loaded by American standards. They are mostly contractors and there is zero job security. ) These men are lonely and bored plus really super horny. There is a green card demand and a huge surplus supply of single ladies who need to put food on the table for their children back in their home countries.

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  3. i agree with desert girl when she says that spinster is regarded as a negative term, while a single man, or a bachelor, is lauded.

    in western cultures the consequence or stigma attached to being a single women in your 30's is not as great as being a single women in the arab world- especially in the gulf region. And this comes back to different aspects of culture. .and to make matters worse for women here, they cannot simply go hunting for a man, she has to sit at home and hope for the best..(which i believe is the right thing, but then again. .it makes her chances of getting married a matter of luck/fate)


    in regards as to why men are marrying more westerners/foreginers. .that is because some men:

    1. are intrigued by blondes
    2. find that khaleeji women can be financially demanding
    3. believe that 'some' khaleeji women are too shallow and not cultured enough

    2 of the above 3 apply to yours ;)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I can't imagine having to sit at home and wait for gentlemen callers for a possible engagement. To me that would be a life without freedom and imprisonment. I'm so thankful that I was born free in the West. I'm not saying that our society is perfect but at least we are free to make mistakes and learn from them. Without doing the smallest little thing that could bring shame on the entire family where no one in the family can even marry.

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  4. AnonymousJuly 06, 2012

    Intrigued by blondes? A 2KD box of dye could make any woman a blonde.

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    1. Those are clearly his reasons which we are all entitled to have our own opinions. I repect that.

      I'm sure he doesn't mean the 2kd dyed blondes. He means the HOT natural ones like in Sweden, The Netherlands, Norway and Finland.

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    2. AnonymousJuly 07, 2012

      ...and German ones . Mmmmm

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    3. LOL! How about we just say all natural blondes around the world for the two of you? :)

      Delete
  5. AnonymousJuly 07, 2012

    What I think are key factors here is that quite possibly Emiriti women face more criteria when choosing a mate and are less willing to settle for someone that does not meet their standards, such as social levels. Emiritis, in my opinion are FAR more attractive than Kuwaitis, and I have seen stunning women at the malls, so because of the lack of constraints on men, there is more probability of a man meeting a wife outside the Emiriti culture, where for women, due to the conservative culture, it is less likely for them to meet someone socially. Many Emiriti women are very successful and may want to continue to work after marriage, so this becomes complex when their Emiriti husbands object. Whatever the case, the government in the UAE is very concerned about Emiriti men being sidelined by a foreign wife who only wants to obtain the 'golden' Emiriti citizenship, understandably when the UAE is the most modern beautiful country in the GCC. Emiriti women may be less likey to marry outside their culture and would rather remain unmarried than marry a foreigner. Read the comments, there are plenty of expat men that want to marry them - not happening for the likes of those that commented there.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I read the "Green Card Comments" LOL! I receive emails from some of these men that find the blog. Like, "I want to go to America. Will you marry me"? Hilarious!

      I would be P.O. if I was an Emiriti lady with all the prostitution clubs allowed to operate in the Dubai. It's one thing to have illegal ones but to have so many hookers in your conservative country. If you go to a normal club there you will see most girls are for sale. Around 6 pretty girls to every fat bald guy. LOL! That would tick me off while I was told to behave myself, dress covered up and live with the double standards.

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    2. Why POd? If a man is looking for that he is not looking for a good, sweet, demure woman.

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    3. P.O. because they have to behave themselves or if caught face a possible honor killing or shunned from family for the rest of her life. He gets to visit these joints before and after marriage while she sits and waits at home with the kids.

      Thank goodness I'm Western because we can hire a private detective, then a great lawyer, take all his $$$ and then spend the rest of our life traveling the world on his dime with our toy boys. ;P

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  6. You mentioned so many times that thanks god u r western and free, but if u look at the western free women a lot of them are single mothers or never married, childless, lonely, miserable creatures, many r drug addicts, alcoholics, prostitutes, pornstars. As u said ru society is not perfect, but u have the freedom, true. Neither society is perfect (western vs. Emirati), but personally I believe sitting at home, being looked after by the family, even ending up as a spinster is much better and honourable than many of your free women end up being in life

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I am still very grateful to have been born Western and all the freedoms and privileges that come with that. There are women in both the West and Middle East that also have the issues you mentioned. We just don't get killed or put in jail for it.

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    2. I also want to add that it's the freedom of choice to be what you want in life. It's up to the individual (in most cases) and not the family once they are adults. :)

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    3. To desert girl. If u r facing problem to marry within nation. If u want to marry out side of ur nation. Then i can marry u. I am muslim der is nothing wrong in marrying a muslim who is expat in ur greatland. We also have the same culture wat u have in gulf countries only the language and receipi is difference. If ur ugly, dumb or duff, if ur handicap no problem to me i respect ur rich culture more than u respect wich we are following. Our language is a sister language of urs noble language. I promise that i keep u as a princess in any condition. Ill put all my joys and happiness in ur fist.

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    4. AnonymousJune 26, 2013

      Syed, where are you from?

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    5. Syed, LOL! I just don't know where to start with your comment. This blog isn't the green card lottery or a dating website. Perhaps you should try both to find what you are looking for.

      Delete

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