You Know You're in Kuwait When...

You go to a movie that's two hours long at 360 Mall and it's over in 55 minutes because of all the cuts due to (hugging, kissing and romantic love scenes).

You're a 'bad girl' because you accidently looked at the guy in the car next to you at the traffic light and now he is going to follow you home because he thinks you "want him"!

You have full evening makeup on that you carefully applied for your first date with Mr. Sexy Kuwaiti and he compliments your "natural look" because he's never seen a woman that doesn't wear makeup like a Drag Queen.

In the dead heat of summer at 138 degrees you are wearing long pants and a shirt that covers every inch of your body because shorts and a tank top would be sporting' the look of "Hookers R Us"!

You run screaming from your apartment pool when your boyfriend has taken off his shirt and turns around to reveal he has more back hair than a Gorilla at the Kuwaiti Zoo.

You get anxious because the toughest decision of your day revolves around which restaurant you are going to order take out from for dinner.



You curse inside your car because the Iranian guy at the little grocery store down the street is taking too long to take your order and you would never ever dream to actually get out of your car and get the milk and juice yourself.

You don't even blink an eye when seeing local women get their "facial hair" ripped off by a woman with freakishly strong arm muscles and a long piece of thread.

You feel lazy because you slept past 4 AM on your only day off and most of your friends work 7 days a week.

You never see babies in car seats. They are sitting on someone's lap, jumping around the car, hanging out the window or laying across the dashboard.

The local men drool over you and chase you everywhere you go because you gained 10 pounds due to living at work - which all went to your ASS that is now the size of TEXAS!

Your driving 140 km on highway 30 and a Kuwaiti man is flashing his lights behind you and cursing because you are going way too slow.

You practically die of shock and want to take a picture of the adorable, American, older couple because it's the first old, American man you've seen that is actually with his wife and not a Filipino that looks like she could be his great granddaughter.

*** I LOVE Kuwait!!! I thought it would be fun to write a humorous list about some of the odd / hilarious things I’ve experienced while living here as an American girl. I hope I don't offend anyone because I really enjoy living in this great country. I realize in America there is much more to make fun off but since I'm living in Kuwait I couldn't help myself! :D

To be fair, here is a little joke on Americans...

Aloha...I am Crazy for Hawaii!

Photo Credit: Aloha Destinations

One of the typical questions I am asked while in Kuwait is: "What is your favorite US state?" Hawaii is my answer because it's the most beautiful place in the US, if not the world to me. After all my travel adventures there is no place on earth that I would rather be then Hawaii. Most of my friends dream to spend their honeymoons in Hawaii and I'm lucky because I've been there so many times that I lost count. When you want beauty, tranquility, culture, beaches, nature, romance and adventure all in one place that is Hawaii.

What to do when in Hawaii:

Drink their famous Kona Coffee overlooking their world class beaches, whale watching, swimming with Dolphins and Sea Turtles, Deep Sea fishing, Hawaii Cruises that can take you around the Hawaiian islands, Hawaii Dinner Cruise, Hawaii sunset / cocktail cruise, world class Hawaii Diving, incredible Hawaii Golf courses, Hawaii Hiking to the nearest waterfall, Hawaii Honeymoons (the best place in the world to start your new married life together), Hawaii Luau where you can eat delicious Hawaiian food (performers dance the traditional Hula and the famous fire dance), Hawaii Sailing, Hawaii Snorkeling (there are beautiful fish all around you), Hawaii Scuba, World class Hawaii Surfing (North Shore on Oahu), Helicopter Tours (fly over Hawaii's famous volcanoes), Spas, Villas, amazing shopping malls and outlet stores, sunbathing on the beach while drinking tropical mixed drinks.

 

Hawaiian Tropic Girls on Waikiki beach

My favorite movie filmed in Hawaii

Hawaii Vacation 411:  Go Hawaii

North Shore Surfing video:

Video Link

Native Hawaiian Girls

Hawaiian Hula Dancing Girls video:

Video Link

Hawaiian Fire Dancer

Hawaiian Fire Dancer video (Actually Samoan Fire Dance)

Video Link

Hawaiian Traditional Male Dancer

Hawaiian Beaches are # 1

There are Gorgeous Beaches everywhere. Depending on which Hawaiian Island you visit, the sand color varies from white, black, green, pink, brown and red. The water is a clear blue, green and turquoise.

Link to most famous people from Hawaii

Click link above to see the most famous people born in Hawaii

(Obama, Nicole Kidman, Bette Midler, etc)

The Polynesian Cultural Center - A must see while in Hawaii.

Polynesia Cultural Center Link

Hawaiian Food

Luau Recipes from Hawaii

Two closing notes of caution while vacationing in Hawaii:

 

Pork: Here little Piggie...Gross!!!

Pork is everywhere in Hawaiian cuisine. If you attend a Hawaiian Luau you will even see a roasted pig. There are so many food choices in Hawaii but make sure you ask not to have any pork near your food. Explain that it's forbidden because of your religion.

Honolulu Advertiser Article

Prostitution

Oahu has a lot of street prostitution. Japanese residents/tourists pay upwards to $3,000 a night for a street hooker. Usually you can only find beautiful hookers through an escort service but not in Hawaii. Thanks to the Japanese you will see surprisingly gorgeous hookers on many streets in Oahu. I would never promote this seedy side of any destination but I just wanted to point out that many of these women are really men. You cannot tell so guys stay away or at least be very careful! There was a special on HBO regarding Hawaii prostitution.

Targeting Japanese

Taken from article from Honolulu Times:
Waikiki prostitutes used to be so aggressive that they targeted Japanese tourists in front of their wives and children, Fulton said. Many of them were Mainland imports who bleached their hair blond and learned to speak Japanese to cater to the then-booming Asian tourist market, he said.

Update: The sidewalks of Waikiki are no longer filled with the dozens of prostitutes who were soliciting tourists just a few years ago. There has been a crackdown on prostitution in Hawaii by the State Police and I read they have really cleaned up the main tourist areas.

My Solution for Peace in the Middle East? Leave it to the Super Models!

Meet Israeli beauty and Super Model Bar Refaeli

Leonardo agrees...

Hooters Girls Visit Troops in Kuwait today on Camp Arifjan

Four Hooters Girls were on Camp Arifjan Kuwait today.  I actually saw them by accident when I was walking to my office.  I had no idea they were hooters girls......they looked like regular contractors.  I found out later who they were.  I only noticed them because my friend said they were illegally parked.  And they didn't have large hooters! loooooool.  Maybe they were keeping them hidden until they visited the troops down range.  Well, you have to give them credit for supporting the troops and traveling all the way to Kuwait. 

Who is the most famous Hooters girl? American Actress, Amy Adams.  At 18, Amy Adams worked as a Hooters waitress. "I did it because I needed to buy a car," she told London's Mail on Sunday in 2006. She left Hooters after saving $900 – enough to buy a used Chevrolet.

Chicago Press: Four Hooters Girls will be visiting thousands of troops stationed in Iraq & Kuwait next week. Hooters partnered with Pro Sports MVP to coordinate the tour alongside country music band BrokeDown Cadillac and comedian/emcee Andy Lauer who will be performing during a 10-day morale, welfare and recreation tour.

Nationally acclaimed Hooters Girls Raechel Holtgrave from Maryland Heights, MO; Ashleigh Dunn from Newnan, GA; Wendy Foster from Rock Hill, SC and Lara Hardy from San Diego, CA will be participating in the upcoming goodwill tour. The Hooters Girls will reach thousands of military personnel while participating in autograph signings, meet & greets, hospital visits, and evening performances with BrokeDown Cadillac and Andy Lauer.

http://chicagopressrelease.com/press-releases/hooters-girls-visit-troops-in-iraq-kuwaitThis is the second time in less than six months Hooters Girls have made a trip to Baghdad to visit the troops. Hooters is very active all year in support of the military through various promotions. For the past 6 years Hooters restaurants has participated in Operation: Calendar Drop and has collectively sent over 100,000 calendars to military personnel overseas along with a note of appreciation during the holidays. Hooters also has donated over $100,000 to Operation Homefront, an organization that provides emergency assistance and morale to our troops and their families, through the Tom Valentine Fund. Thomas J. Valentine, a Navy SEAL troop chief, was killed during a training exercise Feb. 13, 2008.

http://chicagopressrelease.com/press-releases/hooters-girls-visit-troops-in-iraq-kuwait

10 Top Reasons Why I LOVE living in Kuwait

I thought I would write down 10 top reasons I love living in Kuwait. My friends around the world always ask me the same question, "Why would you want to live in Kuwait?"

1. Travel - I am infected with a severe case of wanderlust that I've had since I was very young. I am addicted to world travel and the only antidote is constant travel. Kuwait is an excellent base to travel from. I am able to travel all around the Middle East which wouldn't have been financially possible from the US. Especially since I fly first class! :-)

2. Food - I love the food in Kuwait. It's simply delicious and outside New York you will not find a better home delivery system or the incredible late hours that restaurants remain open.

3. Men - I love me some Kuwaiti men. Loool! When they are handsome they are drop dead gorgeous with their caramel skin; dark, mysterious, almond shaped eyes; their beautiful, thick, black hair; neatly trimmed facial hair and crisp, white dishdashas.  They can be very romantic and sweet.  When a Kuwaiti man truly loves you it is a love like no other!

4. Work - I love the opportunity Kuwait gives me as a young woman to make lots and lots of Tax Free money while serving my country.

5. Friends - the great bunch of friends I've made that are loving travel as much as I do. And my best Kuwaiti friend that is near and dear to my heart.

6. Arabian Gulf - the gulf has captured my little heart and I love it all around me.

7. Music - I love to shake my booty to Arabic music. The slower, Arabic music is hauntingly beautiful to me and I have a huge collection.

8. Shopping - Kuwait is a fabulous place to shop and I do so often. The gold jewelry with incredible Middle Eastern designs, knockoff bags, fabulous fabrics, antiques from the souk. I could go on and on. * I can't stand the Friday Market! Call me snobby but it's just not my style.

9. Cleaning Lady - I love my cleaning lady who will clean my house for a month for less than I would pay someone in the US to clean one time. * I do pay a high rate for her cleaning services and do not exploit the maids here in Kuwait.

10. Apartments - I can rent a gorgeous apartment with a sea view balcony and all utilities are included. Holy Cow! That's an amazing deal after living in a closet in NYC.

Here are a few things I dislike about Kuwait:

Dust storms, deadly fog, hot as hell weather, crazy drivers, horney male stalkers, working too many overtime hours at my job, the men (in most cases it would be impossible to find Mr. Right and Forever here), the $ dollar $ against the KD, the cost of renting / leasing a car, unable to get bank loans, rising cost of apartments, roommates (pain in the "A" slobs), NO legal ALCOHOL, no clubs / bars, poor internet quality with outrageous costs for wireless, cell phones where calls eat away at your paycheck, the cheating (married men on their wives and vice versa), gossip that is untrue seems to run rampant on Camp Arifjan, lack of time to exercise, lack of time to cook healthy meals, cost of American imported products at Sultan Center, the doctors / hospitals that are sometimes good but years behind US medical care and the biggest one of all....missing my beloved friends and family back home.